You’ve been dealt crap for hours and everyone at the table knows it. It’s not because you’ve mentioned it over and over, which you have, but the rolling of the eyes and yawning might be a tell. You’ve drifted away from the game now to the TV and the Cheers rerun across the room. You wish that person who just moved in front would get out of the way so you could see Sam make his snappy comeback to Diane. You don’t even notice that the person blocking the tube is a shapely 23 year-old blond who’s not shy when it comes to the way she dresses, or that it Kristy Alley not Shelly Long in this episode.
You know you should be paying attention to the other players at the table, trying to pick up betting patterns, facial expression or nervous ticks, but it’s been seven hours and ADD has kicked in. Down to a little over six big blinds, you’d be happy to get an ace-rag and go all in, get felted and run to a side game. In the distance you can hear the folk at the ‘dealer calls’ table laughing and joking around. Than you see it! Damn, it is Kristy Alley. Did someone just call Kings and Little Men at the side table? Are there any more of those sandwiches left?
“Action’s on you!” an irritated voice snaps, jerked back into the game. You’re on the button and you don’t even remember paying the blinds in the last two hands. Looking down at the cards, you can almost see them laughing.
Almost tempted to just fold without even looking, you peek at the top card. It’s the ace you’ve been waiting for and before looking at the other card, you’ve already made up your mind to push all-in.
Hesitating for a moment, you pray the other card is paint. And a sudden feeling of hypocrisy fills your soul. You’ve waited for a ace-rag so you have an excuse to push, telling yourself you want to go busto, but finding yourself hoping a quality hand, one that might get a doubled up. How quickly an ace can turn hopelessness into hope!
And than, oh yes, the holy grail of hold’em poker hands! Pocket aces!
Double up . . . or maybe even triple up, goes through your head. Suddenly it occurs to you, did you give your hand away? I must continue to look uninterested, you think. Wait, that makes no sense, you going to push anyway. No, you should over do it. Make them think you want them to fold by acting so over the top confident. The old, I know that you know that I know, play. Still you wait for a moment, enjoying the moment. Finally you grab all your chip, slam them down in front you and yell, “all in.”
Without hesitation, the small blind, followed by the big blind both say fold and push their blinds towards you.
“FUCK!” is the word that comes to mind,
While watching a old sitcom and listening to another game, you failed to notice that everyone before you had folded with only blinds left. Those two had been playing tight all night. Why didn’t you just call and hope for a raise. Those two aren’t good enough to understand that move.
And so that game continues and you drift back to Sam and Kristy and you realize that you don’t even know what her name was on Cheers. When you get busted three position from the money, it’s late, the side game has broken up and you wonder if you’ve drank too much to drive home.
Jeff Kelley – Willinois janitor
