Poker Advice For Fools

Government Prohibition Again

I’d like to thank the United States Government for taking the time, effort and money to make sure I can do harm to myself. You guys are the best.Oh, how the dangers of on-line poker are so tempting, like sirens singing a smooth melody, that a mere human like me could never resists the temptation to give in to the evil known as poker.

And it is not just for me. Thanks for protecting my son, who served 6 years in the military and, although he would like to relax in front of the computer and play a five-dollar game of cards, is being told that he cannot, and that is for his own good.

Stupid me for thinking what I do in my own home, on my own time, with my own money is my own business. Apparently that is not so. The protective tentacles of the United States Government, who are there for the people, have determined that, for my own good, I will not be given that choice.

If you don’t know the whole story, in 2006 Republican’s Jim Leach, Robert Goodlatte and Bill Frist, wanted to stop on-line poker. Using the premise that is was for “the kids”; they created the Unlawful Internet Gambling Enforcement Act (UIGEA). Of course it might be wise for someone to check out the campaign contributions these folks get from the horse racing industry, but that is other story. These three wise men knew perfectly well that could never pass such regulation that would take away from the rights of Americans. At the same time, the Safe Port Act was quickly going through congress, a necessary bill that would soon be signed into law. At the last minute, the UIGEA was added to the bill and since there was no time for anyone to review it, or change it, it was signed into law with the Safe Port Act. What does On-Line poker have to do with Port Security? Nothing, It was a sneaky and underhanded way to get a bill through congress but it was for our own good, apparently.

I personally think that a bill such as this should have gone through the normal channels to make sure it was what the people want, but that is just me.

Here I was thinking that on-line poker would be a great revenue tax steam for a cash strapped government, instead our government spend millions to try to stop millions of folks from doing what they want to do. I guess it is better to have them go to a casino, which we all know are everywhere these days, or bet on horse racing, or play the lotto, or get a bingo card.

So the F.B.I. has spent years investigating all the on-line poker sites and last week, seized three of the biggest and arresting 12 people. Jails are over crowded, courts are behind and there is plenty of crime that is a true danger to our kids, but thank you FBI for taking the time and energy to attempt to stop this menace to our society.

I would think I should have the freedom to do with my money what I chose, but I am wrong. I need the United States Government to tell me what is good for me and what is bad. I hope this is only the beginning. Maybe smoking and alcohol are next. Oh wait they tried that. How well did that work out?

Nope, never playing A-Q again. Raised 3X fold around the table, guy to my right pushes, I call! He’s got Ace King. FUCK! I’m hurt back and two hands later I go all in with pocket fours, called by Ace Queen and she draws a queen. Fuck fuck fuck fuck! Poker is a cruel game!

I watched Phil Gordon win on Poker After Dark last week. What is it about the man that rubs me the wrong way?

Something about his attitude at the table really gets to me. He is a bit of a cry baby but that doesn’t explain it.

Maybe it is the knowledge that he didn’t work his way up, like a lot of poker players I respect. He can into the game a millionaire from selling a computer technology to Cisco Systems back in the 1996. So, he got rich and bored and decided to play professional poker. It is sort of like Paris Hilton using her fame and money to become a signer or actor. Yet that isn’t far, is it. Phil can play poker.

Phil Gordon just seems to give off the vibe of a ruthless, win at all cost, asshole who pretends to be nice. I am fairly certian that is not true either. Phil works hard at charitable causes and has a few of his own. From all I read, he is a good family man and many other poker players consider him a friend.

Yet, I find myself watching Poker After Dark wishing for him to get sucked out on, the same I do for Phil Hellmuth. It is probably just me!

I love playing poker, real poker. Nothing bothers me more than getting invited to a “dealer calls” home game and the host calls a game like Baseball,  Kings and Little Men, or even Five Card Draw with sevens, threes and one-eyed jacks wild. In fact, I always ask first, does your home game use wild cards? If the answer is yes, I don’t play. I was once in a discussion with another card player in which he tried to tell me how much fun game with wild cards are, and how much action it creates. For me, it just adds another element of luck that hurts the skill players.

You see, I really enjoy the skill of the game. The last time I played the game Kings and Little Men, I was dealt four queens, Now if you don’t know this game, it is a guts style game in which Kings and your lowest card is wild. You get 5 cards, decide if you are in or out (If you lose, you match the pot – no betting), and then you can change any cards you want with the deck. So I get dealt a king, 2 queens and of course my lowest card is automatically wild. 4 queen! I commit to the hand and ask for 1 card. The only way my hand could improve is to get a fifth queen. This could happen if I was dealt another queen, a king, or my low card pairs up. One other person also stays in. He asks for 4 cards. He kept an ace. My hand didn’t improve but his did. He got a king, a jack and two three. The jack was the same suit as his ace (I don’t remember which). So, he ended up with a Royal Flush, beating my four of a kind. $25 dollars out the window. Fuck that game!

I enjoy PLAYING poker with people who know how to play poker. If I get to a Texas Hold ‘em tournament and sit down at a table with a bunch of new players, my heart just sinks. I know, unless I get real unlucky, I’ll take their chips, but that’s not the point. I want to play poker. I want the chess game that is Texas Hold’em. I have a friend whom is a few good player (For a home game player, like me), and a love sitting down at a table with him. I know I’m going to have to think, to put puzzle pieces together. When I win a game with him, or people like his, I know I’ve accomplished something.

Of course, at this point, I am not playing for my livelihood. That might be a different story.

And there is the skill of playing bad players. I remember it look me a while to learn to adjust me game to be able to beat them, which is basically, play your cards, don’t be too tricky and bet big. Inexperienced players don’t have enough sense to fold. Of course, this depends on how they play. Sometimes I’ve played new players and they will fold to any raise, others seem to call any raise. Figure them out and play accordingly.

Anyway, poker for me is more for personal growth that a way to build a fortune. Hopefully, one day, I’ll be able to do both.

I have not been posting for a while but I’m back and have something to say!

This is to the punk who called my all-in with his fucking 5-8 off suit because he “felt it”! Fuck you and your straight! Do that again and my kings will hold up, I promise!

I didn’t say a word. I got up and left the table. I even shook hands with the little prick. Hey, I’m no Phil Helmuth! But now I can take my revenge on my little blog that no one reads! WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THAT, YOU LITTLE FUCK! Ha ha! Feel the wrath of Sir Underbelly!

That is the curse you have brought upon yourself. My words are here, for the whole world to read, and if I knew your name, I’d broadcast it to the world! I think it was Bob, or Bill. It began with a B!

Keep this in mind, all those that face me at the poker table, I will belittle you in this type of harsh way in this blog. How will you feel than! I’ve had 6 hits in 2 fucking years and those hits will read about you and your bogus poker playing ability! Ha ha!