I want someone to pay me to chase after Big Foot or the Loch Ness Monster. A job to follow imaginary monsters! That’s a good gig!

To all those Cryptozoologists out there; Do something meaning full! Ont this planet, there are plenty of animals that actually exist that could use your help. Stop wasting your time and others money.

“But the Abominable Snowman might really exist!” you say. My response it, “Who gives a F**k!” Look, even if they are out there, hiding in the mountains, there are fine just the way they are. And if you find them? Great, you can pat yourself on the back and say, “Look at me, I found The Chupacabra!” Big frinkin’ deal! Now humans can go mess with them and put them in zoo’s. Hey, maybe I can get a Sasquatch jacket?

Monsterquest! Have these guys ever found anything? You’d figure all these people searching all these places, maybe one of them would have seen something conclusive, huh? If anything, Monsterquest just proves what all normal people already knew, that the monsters don’t exist!

So take you strand of hair that no one can identify and keep hope alive, but just remember you could be doing something meaningful and that the rest of the world is laughing at you!